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Way better, but needs more narrative and tweaking

I'm not too keen on this. It's a lot more interesting than the original, but the style of on-screen action isn't to my tastes.

First, it looks a lot sharper - crisper and better, like this time you didn't lose the .fla. Heh.

The buttons need to be improved. Draw a rectangle on your 'hit' frames so we can click in the spaces between the letters, rather than needing to click the strokes exactly.

There were some white bits you forgot to remove in photoshop or whatever, that show up in the speech boxes. Also, the parts of text over the whitish portion of the rectangle are hard to read.

I think you should avoid stretching bitmaps - during the fight, their proportions change and it looks tacky.

I liked how there was more of a narrative during this fight and you tried to inject some excitement with the transformations. With the sfx and all the clouds of dust etc. it looks a lot better.

The negative image of Sean with the aliased brush stroke behind him didn't really fit the pixellated look of everything else though.

It was actually vaguely fun to watch, but I suggest you try and work out some narrative to tie this series together. I mean, straight-up fight scenes can get old pretty quickly, specially considering their ubiquity.

-Review Request Club-

mortis5000 responds:

Thanks I really enjoyed this review...
I will take everything you said into consideration

Should have been more than just a fight,

The intro text was kinda cool. I take it that's not done in flash, but rather just exported to an .avi or whatever, then imported into Flash? Really, apart from the intro text, there's nothing that couldn't be easily done within Flash itself. And then the filesize would probably be a lot smaller and we wouldn't have all these visual artifacts.

The episode itself just seemed to consist of a fight. No sfx, so it was actually less entertaining than just watching someone play the game, let alone playing it ourselves. I was expecting a bit of narrative, a bit of character interaction beyond the fisticuffs.

I actually kinda liked the fact that you introduce the characters and the layout of the text and stuff looked cool in the intro.

Overall though, it never really entertained me.

-Review Request Club -

mortis5000 responds:

Thanks for your review

Cool idea but some parts look too close to digital

This is really impressive stuff. Judging by the number of frames, I'm guessing it took the better part of a day? I'm guessing 10 hours work?

Think is, it doesn't really show. I mean, though the imperfections in lighting make it look different to just a static background with frames made using a custom photoshop brush, for a lot of it, it seems almost indistinguishable from a digitally-made animation.

Having your hand in there for the thumbs up or specially for the 'interaction' with the box does make it stand apart a bit, as does the variable lighting at the start.

It would be totally cool if you used your chalk on a 3D object - like drawing over stuff, then dusting it off. Asyou're following contours and stuff, it'd make it a bit more different to digital work.

Still impressive and fun work though, even if a bit short.

Eager to see you take this further yet.

-Review request Club-

Graeme responds:

I did it over two days. Maybe totaling to 7-9 hours. So good guess.
I can't fix that lighting problem. It's better since my first chalk movie, since I used low light filters and such, but I can't shine a light on my board without creating a huge glare :(

I like your idea of drawing on other things, but that seems ridiculously hard! You gave me a cool idea I might experiment with, but no promises, because it would be very hard. haha

Cool energy

Heh. Pretty silly, but I like the sorta off-the-cuff energy about it. A real feeling of spontaneity.

Also, the intro with the mini dudes was cool.

Some words were really hard to make out (US accents can be wierd) and it could've been funnier, but I enjoyed it.

TheCriminalDuder responds:

US!?
Wow, wow, wow, wow!
We're Canadian. :3

Anyway no worries. It was just a recordin' of an actual mic check. I just wanted to make somethin' usin' it for fun. :P Our voice actin' is improvin' along with a bunch of other stuff. Get ready, we're gonna hit NG with somethin' real good soon!

I am BEhrooZ Bahman Shahriari. I am a man. For years, I have been (sometimes) called... BEZMAN!

Age 42, Male

Glasgow, Scotland

Joined on 8/16/01

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